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Here is how you can brew perfect coffee in 5 steps:

We've spilled our coffee
  1. If you wish to make perfect coffee from scratch, you must first invent the universe. But we suggest you skip that step for now, and start with an Auto-Drip coffee maker or French Press and some freshly roasted whole bean coffee and grind it as you use it.
  2. Use good water. Coffee is 98-99% water. Need we say more! Do not use distilled water due to the absence of minerals, which actually help the coffee taste better.
  3. Measure your coffee. 2 Tablespoons of coffee to every 8 oz. cup of water.
  4. Brew coffee. Speak these words: "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble." Do not burn coffee. When done, pour coffee into a mug (preferably one with a lid).
  5. Relax and enjoy your perfectly brewed coffee... and replace the one we spilt or use the buttons below to figure out what to to now.